Friday, 6 November 2015

My Motivation #1


In my last post I spoke about how being asked to leave my old job made me want to make a a change to my life and loose weight, another part of my motivation was looking down and seeing the monstrosity, my body had become. I've never been a particularly body positive person when it comes to my own and I am not happy being this way I don't like being fat and its not how I intend to spend my life.

Remember that Reebok advert "belly gunna get ya!" well that's how I was starting to feel, I felt like I have no control over my body and that my stomach was getting out of hand, it hurt carrying it around now I some of you may find the following grouse and I agree its not pretty but I feel I need to share this to show just how bad things have gotten....

I know right its like me and the Reebok advert could be belly twins. I am sorry if this offends anyone but it will never offend anyone more than it does my self. This is my motivation to remind me of where I been and where I don't want to be again.
It a long journey but I hope that one day I will have a body I can be proud to show off, one that doesnt resemble an 1990's advert...

Tash x

Life Update #1

Early in 2015 I started working for a company and although it was only a temporary position I was confident that it would last, however whilst in training I was having back pain from the chairs as they weren't supportive, I was unable to get the lumbar support I needed, so I asked for a workspace assessment to address the matter and try and get a better chair. I remember looking on the company intranet at alternative chairs and finding one which looked suitable and had a capacity over 23 stone, I joked about this with one of my co-workers saying that as I was overweight that would be a better option for me. A day later I was whisked to one side by my line manager to do the assessment, she said as id mentioned my weight being over 23 stone that meant I was a health and safety risk, I could not be in work because I was basically too fat for the chairs. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. I couldn't believe It. I was escorted off the property and told they would contact me regarding a new start date once they had a suitable chair, which apparently would take 6-8 weeks to be delivered. I was so shocked I couldn't believe it was happening and that I had been dismissed from work purely because I'm overweight, nothing else just because I'm fat!!
My weight has not effected my ability to work previously nor will it in the future, but that's not the point, I'm not quite sure what the point is. Its disgusting that a large company can do that to a person. It has though helped me make the conscious decision to do something about my weight, and I shortly after joined slimming world and started a new job. I was kind of worried that would my weight be an issue it wasn't, if anything my new colleagues have been super supportive and have helped me come so far.

Its still embarrassing to think being fat cost me a job, but I haven't given up this experience has made me eager to succeed. So fast forward to today 7 months on and 3 stone gone. 
It's not been easy and their have definitely been bumps in the road but it has been worth it. I can feel a major difference to how I felt just last year, I felt so sluggish and exhausted all the time, I could barely walk 50m and god everything hurt, my feet, ankles, back. god the back pain it used to make me cry so much I hated it. I am so glad I started this journey and apologise that its taken me so long to share it with you guys.
I'm looking for ward to get blogging more as I feel now I've got more energy and feel more positive I want to share more with you guys not just weight loss.

Tash x

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

To blog or not to blog...

Hey, yea you, creeping..
 So ive been deliberating a "blog come back" for a while and i think im slowly getting back to a point to have enough confidence to throw myself out there for the world.
Now all thats left is to decide what you would like to see...
Ive had a couple of ideas ive been toying with.
Im unsure as to whether or not to go down more a lifestyle route and include posts about my slimming world journey and maybe even include some recipes, i don't know so im throwing it out there to you, my blog is in your hands.
Comment below your suggestions
Tash xx

Monday, 30 March 2015

this little space of mine...

Hey guys,

So I've been doing alot of thinking recently about blogging and the like.

Firstly I've been thinking more about the "plus-size" stigma that seems to be doing the rounds and if I'm honest I don't want in, I'm fat and I am in no way proud of the fact, my weight has cost me alot in the past and who wants to be proud of that. And before the fat bashers start I am taking steps to loose weight and who knows once I've lost weight I may want to share outfit posts but until then my body is my own and I personally don't want to splash it around. I don't want people to think I don't like fat people i don't really care what other people look like but I do care about what I look like and how feel about my body.

I have been thinking of changing direction with my blog to more lifestyle based but i feel like no one values my opinions on that sort of thing, and I doubt the world needs another weight lose blog especially one from myself who is a profound  pessimist.

Basically I've decided to take a semi permanent break from blogging for the time being
I want to thank those who have been supportive but for now I'm going to wait for a time when I feel people want to read about what I have to say.

Thank you.

Sunday, 15 February 2015

Too depressed to blog

Hi guys
can't see this being a long post but I wanted to apologise for my absence. 
Recently I have been struggling more than ever with depression and anxiety and have found myself in a very dark place. To be honest I have wanted to blog and also do more on my YouTube channel but I can't bring my self round to do anything I feel like my creative flare has gone out. I have no energy or will left to be able to get the thoughts that are worth sharing down to share with you guys. I hate it cause my brain is definitely not a quiet place at the moment but I feel it's too manic and dull of self loathing I can't handle it. 
Fingers crossed that I'll pull round but I couldn't say when that could be. 
So I hope you can be patient with me and 
Hope you understand it's not I don't want to blog, I just can't get my head in the game. 
Thanks for reading this. 

Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Cool Blades

Hey Peeps

So if your anything like me you'll know the struggle of trying to find a haircut that suit your face shape.
I have been thinking I'd quite like a fringe but I received an email asking me to check out a new site which has definitely made me change my mind. This is a pretty nifty site that will help you pick a hairstyle for your face shape whether that's square, round, oval, this site gives you a guideline on how to work out what face shape you are and what you should be going for.
Based on this I'm either diamond or square shaped, which are very similar in the styles and have confirmed to me I should steer clear of a fringe. The site also gives some make-up tips mainly where to contour which is pretty useful too, especially if you are a contour novice and are just starting out with contouring.
Over all a really helpful page and worth checking out. No I'm not being paid to say anything about the site I just thought it was a nifty little page I would share with you all if you are interested you can visit the site by clicking on the link.



Wednesday, 31 December 2014

the end of year post...

Hey Peeps

So yes its that time when everyone is scribbling list of new ways they can become better versions of themselves in the new year.
Yes I'm fully aware that the new year is often used as an excuse to wipe the slate of life clear and start all over again, and yes I am on of those people who will indeed be trying to better oneself in 2015. I don't necessarily want to change a great deal about myself, on the inside, but if I'm honest the outside needs a fuck tonne of work doing to it. I know we're meant to love our selves and our bodies but bugger me it's hard to love some thing as diabolically disgusting as my unruly waist line. over the last year I think I've pretty much eaten my self in to a corner of self loathing and hate rid for my body which has definitely had an impact on my mental health. So as far as 2015 is concerned my main goal is to kick my ass into a substantially and more like ably smaller box.  
Happy new year guys here's to failed goals and repeat mistakes and cake! Lots of cake!!